


The Pain of Relief

by neuxue



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Gen, Zutara, Zutara Month, discussion of child abuse (Ozai)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-16
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 12:13:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neuxue/pseuds/neuxue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko finds out Ozai is alive.Takes place immediately after Ozai's defeat and the final Agni Kai. Written for Day 1 of Zutara Month 2012: Relief</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pain of Relief

They fly as quickly as they can to meet the others, neither of them saying a word. Katara holds the reins, keeping her eyes trained on the scorched earth below them. Occasionally Zuko catches her shooting worried glances in his direction, and he tries not to let the pain show on his face. There will be time for further healing later. Right now, all that matters is finding Aang.  
  
They may have defeated Azula – m _y little sister. I did that to my little sister_ – another glance from Katara interrupts his thoughts. _She tried to kill Katara. Uncle was right. I was just doing what I had to do. My duty. It was my duty._ But it will all mean nothing if Aang has failed to defeat – _kill_ – the Fire Lord.  
  
 _My father_.  
  
*****  
  
Smoke rises from the ground below, and Katara knows they must be getting close. She looks back at Zuko again. His expression is strained, and for a moment she wishes they could stop so she could finish healing him. But they have to keep flying, they have to know if Aang has succeeded.  
  
The ground smokes and Katara wonders if they are flying into doom or salvation.  
  
She hopes with all her heart that her friends are safe, that the Fire Lord is gone, and wonders for a moment what Zuko is thinking.  
  
She glimpses Zuko’s new scar through his torn robes and wonders if his other scar came at the hands of someone else who should have loved him.  
  
As this last chilling thought hits her, she opens her mouth to ask him about it, but before she can speak, she sees movement on the ground and “Look! It’s them!” is all she says.  
  
The rest can wait.  
  
*****  
  
“I didn’t kill him,” Aang says before either of them can ask. “I took his bending away, but Ozai’s still alive.”  
  
“ _A _l_ ive?_” Zuko whispers as relief and anger, flood through him in equal measure, drowning out all other thought.  
  
“I’m sorry,” says Aang firmly, “but it’s better this way.” Aang continues talking, explaining exactly how it is better, but Zuko only hears the first two words, and anger hotter than lightning flashes through him. He never imagined he would be so angry when he finally got an apology of some kind from the Avatar. But he never imagined Aang would be apologising for _t _hi_ s._  
  
“You – ” he tries to breathe, tries to speak when all he wants to do is scream fire – “You’re _sorry_?” He throws a jet of fire off into the distance, then turns and follows it, the ringing in his ears drowning out the Avatar’s confused protests.  
  
*****  
  
Her first instinct is to run after Zuko, but Aang is looking to her for an explanation, a look of hurt bewilderment on his young face.  
  
“Why is he so angry with me? I said I was sorry. But I couldn’t kill Ozai, and this way he didn’t have to die but we could still finish the war!” Aang exclaims indignantly.  
  
Katara sighs. “Aang, look – ” she begins, but Toph interrupts.  
  
“You apologised for the _w _rong_ thing,_ Twinkletoes,” she says. “Think about what you just said to him. You said you were sorry for _n _o_ t killing his dad._”  
  
“But I thought that’s what he wanted!” Aang shouts. There is a silence as he seems to realise what he has said.  
  
“I’ll go talk to him,” Katara says, knowing Toph will explain better than she can. Toph nods and Katara runs to where she saw Zuko disappear to around the other side of the hill.  
  
She finds him sitting out of sight and earshot of the others, cross-legged on the ground with his head in his hands. She sits down next to him and puts a hand on his shoulder. When he looks up she sees the tears falling silently down his face.  
  
“I don’t know which is worse,” Zuko says softly, “that I want him dead or that I’m glad he’s alive.” And for once Katara is at a loss for words to offer comfort. So instead she pulls Zuko close to her and runs her fingers through his hair and across his back as he drops his scarred face against her shoulder.  
  



End file.
